I'm about to be honest with you. I hide people in my Facebook feed at times. I do it because, well, I don't want to "unfriend" them. I simply need a break from them. I need time to remove their voice or myriad of pictures from my feed, in order to pray.
Seriously, I need to pray for them.
Sometimes I want to pray for them in a very selfish way. Or use my blog to write a post. You know, in hopes they'll read it, so that they know how narcisstic they are. It's because clearly, I'm the more holy & spiritual one, right?! Right?
And then, I do it. I scroll and find the person's name, browse their page and wonder if the agitation has gone away. I then find five more things which bother me about them and then ask the question, "God, WHY does this person bother me SO much? Can't they see how immature they are?"
I hope he responds to my favor. But. He doesn't.
I am bombarded again and again how the Spirit within me is cleansing me. But, I don't like it. I don't want to be wrong. I don't want to pray for that person. I don't want to pray blessings over them. I don't want to encourage them and spur them on toward love. I don't want to be a voice of "you can do it" to this person when it's obvious they get it from everyone else sounding like clanging gongs. All people wanting to be the person's best friend.
But. God speaks truth. Truth hurts.
My mom had surgery today. She fell and injured her leg something fierce, which caused an infection inside. The thing about it is she got a little cut on her leg from the fall. That small cut turned into a pinky thick crevice in her leg, because the infection began eating it open.
The only way to stop the wound from getting larger is breaking open the wound and scraping it out clean.
You see, when God speaks truth, he needs to rip open the wound more and scrap it out clean. His truth seeps into that raw space.
My heart can go in two directions. Allow truth to clean it out. OR... Allow for the annoyance to lead to contempt and infect my whole being.
So God, what do I do?
I nod my head in that humbled, "yeah, I know what you're gonna say" nod.
Pray more blessings. Write encouraging notes to them. Don't allow anymore room for the infection to spread.
Because this person is made in the image of the Most High, and I cannot desecrate that. I'm not saying this is going to be easy or delightful. Obedience never seems such does it.
*PS: I wouldn't be surprised if someone hides me in their feed. Makes me laugh.