Hiding in Secret Leads to a Solitary Party

Yesterday I awoke.

The summer sun gently began making rounds.  I pulled a shot from the trusty machine and sat, and spilled.  Discouraged, but slightly hopeful.  Slightly hopeful, because when one speaks of distress, hurt, anguish--community comes pouring.  

This is how it has always been, or how it should be.  We don't hold back the goodness inviting us to share with one who is hurt.  We want to be the Samaritan in the story.  We scoff at the priest & the Levite.  We exclaim, "We will not be like them."  

You friends, have been the Samaritan to me.  You friends have been the Jesus I have always loved.  

New mercies await me this morning.  There are jobs to be done, and each day requires new mercies to get through it.  This life we are given is a truly blessed one, but it doesn't quite feel so at times, does it?  Apathy stirs in our heart and we hold it secret.  Do we hold it secret in fear of what others think?  Do we hold it secret in fear of what might come of the trenches when we speak them?  

This morning, I know this.  I am not to keep silent those fears.  We are not to keep silent those fears.  Secrecy leads to an eternal solitary party that even God the party maker cannot join.  When I let those fears be known, it's an invitation to a party that God is throwing for me, for you, for all of us.

You've opened my ears so I can listen.

So I answered, "I'm coming.  I read in your letter what you wrote about me,

And I'm coming to the party you're throwing me."

That's when God's Word entered my life, became part of my very being. (The Message Ps 40)

God wants to throw me a party.  He wants me to delight in his good gifts, because he really is the best gift giver.  

I baked homemade blueberry scones this morning for my family.  Do you know my main motivation?  To see the delight in my girls eyes and intonation in their voice when they come to the table to see the gift.  It fills me.  Yesterday, I came to my knees broken, holding out the secrets of my inards towards God, towards you and the party planning began.  

The good Father smiling and giving a nod.  He breathed his Spirit in you to bring me presents.  And I know he is on the move making preparations for this new season for me and this little one who will be one of my best three gifts I've been priviledged to see to completion.  

Godspeed to you!

Breaking Generational Curses with Forgiveness

While laying on my bed after putting the girls to bed for the night, I was finished.  The weekend seemed filled with mountains of whining.  I'm sure my words were not as gentle towards the closing of the door.  Do you ever feel like that?  You just want to be done with it.  You snap and it feels good...in the moment.  
But, what I see is that God is wanting more from me for the sake of these girls future.  Not that I hit myself when I fail; rather, that I humble myself to go to a three year old & five year old and ask for forgiveness.  
It's because, 
When I am breathing this side of heaven’s last breaths, I want to leave a legacy of a forgiving heart.  Our world needs more reconciling forgiveness than anything.  There’s a powerful grace in forgiveness.  When our parents have hurt us, or we have hurt our children or spouse, or ex-spouse...when those four words spill out, “Will You Forgive Me?” Jesus can’t not be present there.  
Join me over at MomHeart today as I share my story of breaking generational curses & leaving a legacy through the power of forgiveness.

Where I Have A Confession on My Hospitable Skills

going with a new banner as well

I have a confession to make.  You might think I'm great at extending hospitality by reading my words, or coming into my home.  But, honestly, I am a failure at it time & again.  God humbles me when reading the words of Jesus preparing a breakfast of bread & fish for his friends as I recall not making the most of the opportunity I was given just the day before.  

Here is Jesus with such intentionality & purpose on the shore, calling out to his friends to try the other side of the boat.  Tired & worn out, they follow the words of this stranger to realize it's their Lord.  Hauling back the hefty net of fish they are welcomed to a well tended fire.  Yesterday in the sermon, the visual of the well tended fire struck me the most.  

It was the time, care & effort Jesus had put into making the fire, watching over it, in order to produce "a fire of burning coals."  He had prepared with a purpose in what seems so little of ways...through tending the fire, making it ready for fish.  Ordinary task producing heaven impact.  

This ordinary task of tending the fire produced conviction in me.  

It is in the ho-hum mundane, where I believe we can find the most contentment.  It's the plain stuff of life, where we acquire a personal experience.  Seemingly ordinary, yet it's extraordinary.  

There Jesus does what appears as normal everyday tasks, rubbing the sticks together for amber flickers, but it's with intent as he is preparing a place for his friends.  An opportunity to be known.  He uses the ordinary to create extraordinary, simply by making room with a hot fire of coals. 

Maybe it's Jesus showing up in this typical of mornings with his friends fishing, through his purposeful preparation--making room, in order for them to see him.  To know him.  Is that what hospitality is suppose to look like?


Just two days ago, a woman who I really didn't want to talk to, or take the time to get to know (at a Women's Ministry function of all places) approached me.  I thought she was rather odd & brash.  I didn't see the point in tending to this small talk with a person I wouldn't really get to know well.  I simply did not want to take the time to nurse this possible burning coals opportunity.

Then, I see how Jesus carefully prepares in the small ways.  Provides transforming, personal experience for his friends.  

Maybe--just maybe he was providing an ordinary conversation for himself (through me) to be revealed....Yet, I didn't take the time to enter in.  

How many times have I missed these opportunities to give hospitability?  To see that it's in these little moments of small talk, listening to their story as if I am the last person ever to hear it.  How many times have I missed pushing through the difficult, awkward pauses in marriage, motherhood & friendship, in order to get to the root of the hurt or joy?  


I'm a broken, sloppy mess friends.  I am in need of seeing the little picture, in order to find the big picture.  I am humbled time and time again by Jesus' love, compassion & grace as I stumble.  Let's make notice of those two sticks awaiting to make coals of fire for the random, ordinary interactions we daily face.  



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