Today is day three of Ben being gone. Spring break began Saturday with V coming down with a stomach bug, and me praying blood sweat and tears that I am literally passed over to keep this train o'family a movin. She came down with a high fever come Sunday, but no vomiting.
Good thing I went to the movie store to get all those movies.
Well, it's Tuesday and everyone is better; but, can I just say, a Caprice girl thinking a nap means an hour or less, while the neighbor girl asking to play has left me bone dry. Let's be honest, it's more than that--that is the tipping point for me.
When the doorbell rings and I'm thinking it's a delivery carrier and it's those sweet seven year old eyes asking if she can play with V & Tay--I cannot turn her away in hopes of getting some "me" time while I corral the older two into quiet play and Caprice snoozing.
But now, with V wanting to talk with me, Caprice on and off awake crying (cross your fingers she goes back to sleep), I'm on edge waiting for the next catastrophe. All the while, to be reminded that this mothering thing is all about letting loose my agenda, my plan and letting these real people walk in (despite my tired, grouchy self) with me opening the door to them.
I can't help but think of maybe this is what hospitality is about these days. Welcoming in the neighbor girl, making smoothies for all of them, and taking the time to converse with my kiddo. But...
...there are also boundaries folks. I do not think I need to lay all of me on the floor of the altar of sacrifice and call it "servanthood," when in reality it's the "suffering servant" complex. I needed to write and get this out there and Caprice is still crying, V wanting to talk to me. I know I am not a bad mama if I tell V to give mama time to finish writing so I can give her my undivided attention later tonight for our slumber party. I don't think it's wrong to let Caprice cry a bit to put herself back to sleep either.
And therefore, hospitality is just as much about giving of one's self and time as it is about putting up boundaries for yourself. Taking time to tend to your soul, mind and heart. In the meantime, I will go wash those dishes calling my name.