One Word: 2014

Sure it's January 9th.  

Sure most bloggers have been on their "A" game and had this post typed up and sent out approximately 10 days ago.  

Sure I would have liked to be apart of that said bloggers; but, to know thyself sometimes means to know thy limits in life.  

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A bit on 2013 One Word: 

Last year was peace as I entered into the year with a need for a life of contented peace walking along still waters, lying in green pastures and even walking in the dark valleys to know my God is there with me.  

I don't feel like I conquered the word 'Peace' or anything.  I didn't walk out the other side more enlightened or peace-filled if I'm being honest.  Sometimes when we walk out into the desert expecting this "aha" moment with God, we are unpleasantly disappointed by the lack of grandiose.  

But, maybe that's where we were suppose to go.  

My heart all big and expecting, looking for signs & wonders to find that I'm still me with my anxiety & worry.  They haven't been magically removed.  I don't think that's what God ever intended.  In fact, all of us has been given various burdens to bear, and we can either choose to dive deep into them or turn them over to Jesus and allow him to carry them for us. 

Peace is a constant state of mind and heart.  It's more physical than one would think.  I would even wage to say there's quite a bit of wrestling.  Wrestling the mind & soul to yield down is a circus act.  There up on the tight rope willing everything within to not give in to the anxious thoughts, which quickly overtake me when I look down from the heights.  

This year I sense a need to know Jesus.  I have been so far from him.  I have been so far from Scripture.  I have put my idea of who Jesus is into this tidy little box with a fancy bow and placed it upon my dresser.  Then, as the world comes crashing down I curse this boxed in Jesus wondering where the hell he is.  All the while, I have yet to know him and him know me.  

Today as I was reading Matthew 13 about The Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl, I was struck with the various interruptions of who was the seeker?  

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.  “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Some thought it was us (people), others thought it was Jesus. 

But, maybe it's both?

When I began to like Ben and see all of his good qualities shine through, they were only exemplified when he pursued me.  It would have been fruitless if I was the only one doing the seeking.  I have been able to love him more fully, because he has wooed me with a gracious gentle love.  And that's the same with Jesus.  

I sense he is wooing me, and has been for a long time now.  I just haven't been paying attention.  I want to love him and know him like I did as a little girl with complete abandon.  This year, my word is KNOW for all these reasons.  

To KNOW my Jesus.

To KNOW me--to KNOW me as He sees me.

To KNOW Ben.

To KNOW my girls.

To KNOW others.

To KNOW, to become familiar, acquainted, deep bond.  This year I toast KNOWING!  

Kamille Scellick