I read this honest, vulnerable piece on overeating today and it struck a chord with me. I was hit by how often I hear from someone, be it a close friend or acquaintance or reader, "Well Kamille, you eat really healthy!," or, "Oh, Kamille has a blog where she talks about food and hospitality, and cooks really healthy." My response, "eh, well, kind of!?"
The truth is I am not a model of perfect eating. I do believe in feeding my family and myself veggies and ethically raised meat. I do believe in cutting back refined sugars as they don't provide any nutritional value. When eating out, I look for gluten-free options for myself and my girls.
But, I often feel like I need to live up to these ideals others think of me. Or, what I think others think of me. This leads to a two-sided Kamille, and the perception one has of me.
You may have a perception of my home, of me, and my eating habits. What you don't know, and what I don't often show is how I have a sugar addiction. I, like Tina Francis, can wolf down a whole box of Trader Joe's chocolate peanut butter cups in a day. It's sick you guys.
I really want you to think I have it altogether. I want to hide away those parts of me. I want to show the "good" Paleo side. I want to show my "authority" on the subject. When I read certain Paleo sights, I feel like I'm the only closet non-Paleo eater. When a friend says, "Oh, well you eat Paleo don't you?" What I want to say is, "Well, I make Paleo dinners, and Paleo breakfasts, and then there's the remainder 10-11 hours of the day, which remain a little more loose."
But, if I were being even more honest this is what I would say, "I want you to like me. I want you to be able to come to Redeeming the Table and find a recipe that will fall under your grain-free, dairy-free, soy-free, paleo driven, allergen friendly lifestyle. I want these recipes here, because I want to be a resource and make it all about me."
With that in mind, I'm going to make a pledge. I'm not going to make excuses for making desserts. I'm not going to say sorry when 98% of the time bake without grains and that 2% I do. I'm not going to win on search engines looking for an all grain-free, dairy-free, Paleo driven sight. I'm not going to pretend that I don't enjoy Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Ice Cream and these milk chocolate M&M's Monster Cookies.
I make concessions in life. I think self-control & discipline are undervalued in our society, and instant rewards to make us feel happy don't make for a lasting soul.
But, I'm not going to apologize for these cookies. They are damn good. And bonus, they use almond butter not peanut butter and you can't really tell the difference. If you are avoiding grains, these are free of them. They require one bowl and please, if you can have refined sugars without major ill effects, be a rebel and use M&M's.
Grain-Free Peanut Butter-Free Monster Cookies (printable recipe)
This recipe has been adapted from Nourishing Meals cookbook. The original calls for peanut butter, raisins & chocolate chips. I had roasted almond butter on hand. I didn't add either, because I upped the M&M's and I think raisins are a sad excuse to eat grapes.
1 cup roasted almond butter
1 cup coconut sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1 cup M&M's
Preheat oven to 350. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.
In a medium mixing bowl, combine almond butter, coconut sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking soda and salt. Mix until thoroughly combined. Add the coconut and mix. Then, add the M&M's (if you want to do 1/2 cup M&M's and 1/2 cup chocolate chips, go ahead).
Drop by tablespoon onto the lined sheet pan pressing down slightly on the top. Bake for 10-12 minutes. They should be golden brown like in the picture.
Cool slightly (1-2 minutes) on the pan and transfer to a plate. Eat warm or store in container for 3-4 days. But, I guarantee they won't last that long.