Foreboding Joy Crushed
In a little over a week I will be standing where one of my favorite chefs stands, and teaching in his kitchen (and if you haven't signed up yet, do it). To say that I'm beyond floored to be given such an opportunity is one of the biggest understatements. Shortly after being invited I walked down the path of 'foreboding joy.'
Foreboding joy looks like this:
Oh wow, I get to teach my first cooking class! At the best cafe in town. Clearly, I have some potential to be invited. Or, what if I suck. Who am I to think I have anything to offer? I'm just Kamille. I'm not good enough to teach the class. Well, what if no one shows up? Oh there are people signing up! But, that person already knows enough about paleo cooking, what could I possibly teach them...
It's a cyclical pattern of seeing the possible joy and then crushing it with our preconceived stories, which aren't real. It's a self-protection mechanism, which shields us from vulnerability and possible hurt. And I fell into it's trap.
Fortunately, I'm learning to listen to the positive voices, which drown the lies. This gets me thinking about what Matio did for me. He shared his table with me by helping me see my voice. By helping me find my voice and a seat at the table, I can find that courage, which speaks truth against shame.
I suspect, you have someone in your life who has helped you find your voice. And I also suspect, you have someone in your life to help them find their voice. Sharing the table is about giving and receiving. It's definitely about finding joy in it all.
Who in your life is that person who needs a seat at your table, in order for them to hear their true voice?
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