Today has been a hard day. Actually this week has been beyond difficult, more like tumultuous. I saw at the Gypsy Mama's 5 minute Friday the word, "Growing." With all of the recent events, "growing" seemed to be just the word to use to write on what has happened.
I've been fortunate to get pregnant on the first try both times with my girls. This third time around it was unexpected. And when I couldn't see the handiwork of the Father at his canvas, he invited me over to take a peek. To see the life growing inside is a priceless work of art.
He painted hues I had never seen or imagined. I began to take hold of this canvas & hang it on my wall. It was unfinished, but with expectancy that May would grow & birth a wonderful painting that would leave me breathless.
Then streaks of red began to appear. Slowly but surely, they kept coming & wouldn't stop. My beautiful painting was covered in blood red. My heart that was uncertain about the growth inside my womb, turned into magnificient joy of expectancy to greet this little bundle is now no more. This growing is not growing. This little gift is still a gift.
Words can't help. My heart feels a bit empty right now. I know it will grow into a beautiful garden again, yet for now...it's silenced. For now, my garden appears lifeless is still growing in the mysteries unseen.