My mind feels like my dutch oven filled with tough meat. I add spices & allow it to braise until it's something tender & edible. I have had numerous conversations & ideas brewing in my head. Once one idea pops up, another quickly replaces it and I'm left feeling a bit overwhelmed by the thick of it. I've been spending more time reading other blogs & writing notes of encouragement or praying for them.
Although I don't care for bullet points/numerical ordering too often, would you appease me by reading them.
1. Why in the world do I blog?
I've wrestled a lot with my purpose & intent in blogging. Heck, I've wrestled with my purpose & intent in so many areas outside of blogging. Truly, it doesn't take long as a blogger to become inundated with the plethora of "how to's" that you end up becoming a bit mental. My friend Jessica (who happens to be an amazing woman that I get to room with at Relevant), wrote on the topic this week (which I recommend). I think she writes very adequately on the topic; as well as, the comments.
2. Who Am I? How do I stay true to my unique design?
Jessica's post brings up this topic of finding your voice & knowing yourself penetrates to my core. Not just knowing myself, but encouraging others to find their voice, to find out who God created them to be & never wear shoes that don't fit them. I was encouraged to read Elizabeth Esther's recent post surrounding these ideas. Her struggle of being true to who God created her to be & not try to be someone else.
Growing up I saw my mom demeaned growing up in my church family, because she spoke up when things were not right. She had (& still does) a sensitive spirit mixed with justice. I thought for most of my life that being a woman who was extroverted & spoke boldly equated with being a sinner. It was the meek & mild women who would inherit the Kingdom of Heaven; therefore, I should emulate them. My thoughtful & wise husband recognized the connection between how my mom was treated & my then current mindset on more "vocal" women and being a sinful person. It was a breakthrough moment for me. To seek Jesus in how I speak & use my words. To seek Jesus in who he created me to become. To seek his grace amidst my failures & give him glory in my triumphs.
3. Why I Love the Beauty found at the Table!
And through all of this, I see such profound beauty at the table. We eat humble food & feastful meals. We find more of ourselves & allow others to find themselves around a meal. Jesus knew what he was doing when he affirmed Mary for her adoration of him & corrected Martha for her busyness. Most of us are like Martha being busy bees to get everything just right & we relate with her (and feel a bit for her). But, I think deep down, we long to be like Mary.
Our friends when they come over would want us to be attendant like Mary. Our children want us to sit with them like Mary. Sure, the food is great, but it's always about relationship. I have to remind myself of this daily as my little V asks me to play with her & I'm filling my time with busy work. I have to balance a life of Mary & Martha. I like how Lovefeast Table describes the 'Table,' especially this line:
"But mostly we love the TABLE with its conversations and the lingering moments while the candles drip to the bottom, where stories are shared and LIFE is slowed down to be savored"
How are you preparing your table these days? How are you seeing yourself these days? Where are you finding your voice? How are you accepting & liking yourself while resting in grace for the "not so beautiful parts?"