to know his peace
"Can you imagine it? The Israelites were hurrying as they saw in the distance a huge army coming toward them. It was Pharaoh wanting to stop them. He was closing up on them & they turn to face the water's edge. It would appear they were trapped," as my adrenaline grew with my voice raising like an orchestra creshendo.
My girls sat peering at The Jesus Storybook Bible, but more my eyes, while they gingerly continued eating their eggs. They inched forward with their bodies speaking loudly as if saying, "Mama, don't stop there!"
Because sometimes, we don't read the words, but simply fill them in with what the picture says. And sometimes, we imagine what it was like for people of Israel at a standstill between the strongest army & a mighty sea.
I continued, "And right there, God spoke to Moses as if he was his closest friend protecting him. He told him to RAISE his staff & extend his hand over the sea. Moses needed to trust God that he would save them. And what did they see? Right in front of them, the waters of the deep grew taller & taller as if they were skyscrapers making a path of dry land before the people."
Eyes widened, my heart beating faster as if I can taste the salty spray upon my lips.
"What would you do if you were faced with a sea of water raised up on both sides with a strip of dry land down the middle, while your enemies chased you? It would be pretty scary to walk on the road between the towering waters on both sides and not being able to see the end. But, God went ahead of them to keep them safe," I softly assured them.
That day must have been something awfully terrible. How did they believe to step out in that faith? They were given three options. Go fight the army, stay there & die, or proceed with caution.
Maybe, when we step out in that frightful faith, what seems like life has stopped completely--is when he floods us with his peace. As their feet crossed the line of what would be wet land, became dry land. As the sound of crashing above--and on the sides of them, God would not break the walls.
I would go to sleep with rejoicing of my baby in my womb. That night, the sea would part & a dream of miscarriage would come down on me. As I woke up, what I found was not a dream, but a reality. The sea walls collapsed on my being.
As a woman, we can step forward when we begin "trying" to conceive. We begin to realize that it's all steps of faith on the dry road between the skyscrappers of the sea. We don't know if while we are walking, the buildings might start to teeter. It's an act of faith, an act of trust.
The beauty comes in the morning like sweet breads of manna. As the blood flowed from my body, extracting the life that had been; I watched those walls teeter. It looked like they were beginning to falter.
People speak of an indescribable peace when walking into the shadows of death. I never knew this place. How could death & peace reside in the same place? How does that speak of the Sovereign God? I can't explain it; except, in feeling like I am an Israelite walking along that dry land between the sea walls without any fear.
His peace is like being in that boat on that stormy night as the disciples cried in desperation, "Wake up, Wake up, we're going to DIE!" And what does he say? "PEACE!," as the waves & wind submit to his voice. Wherever he is, there is peace. In the shadows of the valley, in the eye of the storm, he wrapped me in his arms as the storm raged all around; yet, I'm left unscathed.
I see his sovereignty in the eye of the storm. It doesn't make sense. It's not logical. It seems anything but good; yet, I'm left unscathed. His peace.