I'm a natural optimist with a slight worry, anxiety prone bent. Doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense. What has saved me over the years plus is knowing Jesus. Ever since a small child I've been drawn to his goodness that never fails. I've instinctively believed in who he said & says he is.
I keenly remember hearing stories about him with unbelievable faith, like how a young child can leap into the arms of their parent without fear of falling.
The knowing that there is always hope. We live in a world which tries to rob us of hope. Rob us of good gifts & new mercies. Rob us of the joy that is found in the center of Jesus life he gives us. I've been robbed of this time and again, where the anxiety, worry, stress seeps in and optimistic joy bleeds out. Fear takes place and false story after story begin to weave inside. It is there that so much of my pregnancy with our daughter was at; except...
...I could see a glimmer of hope. Sometimes it was small gifts wrapped up just for me while I listened to a song. And other times it was community lifting me up, speaking words of truth & hope. Even in the times when I could not see the glimmers, God was so good to me, so gracious by not being harsh; rather, gentle, attentive & knowing.
Many of you know we experienced a miscarriage in September. I miscarried, had a period, and then I had a feeling that my body was getting ready for a turn of events. Something I never asked for--simply given. Sitting with a mentor friend of mine, spilling out my uncertainties about the "what if's" of this pregnancy she peacefully replied, "Kamille, you did nothing wrong with the last baby. You weren't trying for this baby. This baby is simply a gift."
"A gift!" Gift is grace, grace is gift undeserved. Yes, that gift came pouring out on an early Sunday morning as our little no name girl. I'll tell you more about it, so come back with some tea or coffee.